reject the melancholy cabbage

The one thing I actively prefer about legal writing as opposed to academic writing (she says, looking over her papers for history class) is the absence of a requirement to suddenly expand wildly in the conclusion. I am so glad I will never have to write another paper where I firmly establish that, like, while the ludic impulse was more encouraged in science before the Enlightenment it’s a fallacy to say science suddenly became a serious endeavor… and then get to the conclusion and claim that therefore joy runs like a river through the scientific imagination and only when the humanities learn to embrace this will we, as a species, truly be whole. I PANICKED, OKAY. Other greatest hits include “The Chicago civil rights movement failed in part due to an attempt to emulate Southern priorities… therefore ACTUALLY THE SOUTH SIDE DOESN’T NEED YOUR SELF RIGHTEOUS CRUSADES, REFORMERS” and, my favorite, from high school, “The whale in Moby Dick is at least in part a commentary on the impossibility of understanding the world and so defies easy allegorical lassignment… therefore Melville was probably super depressed because Hawthorne wouldn’t call him anymore.”